Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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