ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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