I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize