i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
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i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
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What's life without a pregnancy scare?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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