it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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