Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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