i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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