I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
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No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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