Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
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There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
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I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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