I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i love accidental penises.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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