Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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