I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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