Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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