Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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