dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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