I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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