help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize