If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
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I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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