i would punch a child for taco bell
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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