he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He? As in you personified your dick?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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