i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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