Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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