new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize