never play flip cup with pint glasses
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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