I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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