im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
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That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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