well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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