I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We left an ass print on the piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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