She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize