Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
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The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I wear drunk well.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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