I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize