Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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