What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
only if we run a train.
done.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize