I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize