there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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