I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Girls should come with a carfax report
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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