I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize