is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize