oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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