We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
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I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
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It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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