How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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