He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
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I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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