when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize