And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize