ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize