She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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