We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize