Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
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the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
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That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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