tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize