so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize